Of Beastiality and Necrophilia
by Kitten The Kokeshi Doll
Summary: The Gopher and the Dead Guy. People have to get their kicks somewhere. Oneshot Chika/Michiru


A/n: As a general rule I'm a yaoi fangirl... but sorry my heart belongs to Michiru/Chika on this one!

_Of beastiality and necrophilia_

Chika and Shito, are… or at least currently are… dead. Zombies. Michiru pushed her glasses further on her nose as Yuuta poured them all coffee.  
"Sleep well?" Shito asked politely. His polite nature and calm attitude were a mask and a very bad one at that, once he lost interest in something Shito was a big a bastard as they come.  
"Yes, thank you." She replied just as curtly. She couldn't blame him for his icy attitude, apparently after death the heart slowly hardens until it can feel nothing. No emotion.  
"Hey Shito, how come you never ask me how I slept?" Complained Chika with a pout on his face. Despite (allegedly) dying the same day, Chika was quite the opposite of Shito. His playful nature and contagious smile remained constant even after death. A little like Ying and Yang, the two complimented and contrasted each other perfectly.  
"Because, you're a moron." Shito said bluntly, not one for early morning conversation.  
"Ah… that really was quite uncalled for." Michiru muttered. She hated that the two fought, it was bad enough she was roped into their insane ethereal escapades, indebted to them with her life, but she was almost constantly trying to stop them 'killing' each other

"They really are silly aren't they?" Chirped Yuuta sitting beside the bespectacled girl.  
"Damnit kid I will make you wish you weren't…" Started Chika, threatening the cosplaying boy, who hid behind Michiru. She sighed, it was always like this.  
"Jeez it's too early for this." Koyomi said, hungover from the previous night, when after far too much fantan she had transformed into her alter ego 'Yomi', earning a slightly drunken applause from Chika and a vague smirk from Shito when she forcibly kissed Michiru. Michiru was never and had never been certain of what Koyomi and Yomi really were… they were separate entities in one body, but they seemed to be as alive as she herself was. So technically… TECHNICALLY there was nothing wrong with the two kissing, aside from the fact they were both girls and Michiru was fairly certain she was straight.

She wouldn't know she'd never really been that close with a boy, not enough to fall in love at any rate… well not including Shito and Chika. She glanced at them, Shito who was quietly reading, and Chika who was play fighting with Yuuta. For some reason a smile crept up on her face as she surveyed the scene, though she knew his 'condition' should stop her, she couldn't help but think as she had on previous occasions, that he was very cute.  
"Hey gopher stop staring." He called, tearing his attention away from the smaller boy long enough to end up pinned on the floor. Yuuta cheered in triumph.  
"It's not gopher it's Michiru! Mi-chi-ru!" She responded automatically.  
"That's what I said 'Go-pher.'" he teased. Yuuta looked between the two with wide eyed… were they flirting?  
"You're impossible." She huffed.  
"Aww, thanks." Chika smiled lazily.

"You two are SO CUTE!" Yuuta cheered climbing off. Michiru turned scarlet, Koyomi looked jealous, Shito raised an eyebrow, Chika continued to grin.  
"I dunno about her, but I am. She might be alright if she ditched these." He reached out for her glasses and instinctively she held them to her face, glowering at him through her fingers. "Fine stay ugly. Hey Shito I was thinking we go into the shopping district and…" And just like that his attention was off of her, not that she minded.

* * *

The day had been tiring to say the least. What had started as an innocent zombie-hunting trip had ended up with bloodied and butchered zombies. Michiru vaguely wondered if she would be scarred for life, she stretched her toes to the end of the couch and pressed her tongue to her teeth suppressing a yawn.  
"I'm going to bed." Shito said, he didn't bother to put on a polite tone and as soon as he was healed he disappeared. Koyomi was unconscious in an armchair a few feet away.  
"There you go Chika, all fixed up. You owe me big time!" Yuuta saluted as Chika tested his foot out.  
"I wouldn't if that bastard Shito hadn't shot me, I swear he does it on purpose."

"Feel okay?" Michiru asked dazedly.  
"Course… how about you Gopher, I thought you were gonna pass out back there."  
"Well it's not everyday a girl sees what appears to be a teenager get their heart ripped out… literally." Michiru could almost feel the bile rise in her throat at her own words. She shivered and closed her eyes.  
"Go fix your girlfriend." Yuuta ordered Chika.  
"She's not my girlfriend! I'm not into beastiality." He smirked. She opened one eye and glowered.  
"And I'm not into necrophilia." she countered just as quickly.  
"I didn't say you two were having sex, you implied that on your own." Yuuta grinned.  
"Don't you have a home to go to?" Chika complained, stamping his mended foot as he realised his own mistake.  
"See ya!" Yuuta took his cue and left.

"Technically." Chika mused, pushing Michiru's legs off the sofa. She didn't bother arguing as he sat down. "It wouldn't be necrophilia… I'm animate."  
"And technically last time I checked I was a human." Though, without her glasses she wasn't sure.  
"So you're saying we can have sex?" Chika teased, picking up her legs and putting them on his lap so she was back to lying down. She kicked at him.  
"Shut up! That's not what I said and… and I've only ever kissed before shut up!" Michiru had turned an interesting shade of pink. He snickered.  
"Not like you have much choice once Yomi comes out."  
"Dead or not I WILL decapitate you." She warned, narrowing her eyes. They stared at each other from their separate positions on the three seater sofa, before they both started laughing.

"When did we get to be this comfortable?" He asked, leaning back contentedly.  
"I think when I finally lost my grip on reality." She mused, closing her eyes.  
"Hey don't sleep on the sofa gopher! Then you really are no better than an animal."  
"Well YOU dragged me round the city on a wild-zombie chase." She huffed, not moving. However she was snapped out of her mini-dream-state by two strong arms sweeping her up. "PUT ME DOWN!" She demanded.  
"Nope." Was all the bi-haired youth said, he didn't carry her in a romantic bridal style like boys were supposed to carry girls, he had her slung over his shoulder in a half predatory half offensive way, leaving her with very little choice as he hauled her to her room.

"You should go on a diet." He complained. "You're heavy."  
"Well then don't pick me up." She complained.  
"It's okay you owe me 500yen for being a taxi." He smirked, kicking the door to her bedroom open. He tipped himself forward so she tumbled off, the bed springs creaking at the sudden arrival.  
"Ouch not a chance."  
"Aww!" He complained. However playful he looked there was a glint in his eyes that half made Michiru want to run and hide in Shito's room. "This whole… not into necrophilia… think I can change your mind on that one?" He asked. And, behind her glasses, her eyes widened to the size of saucers.

A/n: Yes, this is a one shot. I'm not writing a lemon when one of the main characters is dead it's… weird. Reviews are nice.


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